Im in love with my bestfriend and want no one else?

I'm 20 and my bestfriend is 19 I'm completely in love with her would absolutely anything to make her smile I'm a good looking guy not conceited but I am...she says she doesn't like me...but I am allowed to touch her entire body under her underwear except vag but she's let me a few times...she used to wear my clothes to be every night...she would tell me she doesn't know what shed do without me when I would cuddle up with her with my arms around her shed wrap her feet up in mine and fall asleep she's cuddled up with me at night in bed...when she's drunk she's tried to kiss me she tells me she loves me I'm the best and when she's not with me she says I wish you were here...she constantly plays with my arm muscles and pecs will rub my head when I grab her and lay with her...constantly looks at me when I'm not looking...or if I'm not payin attention to her she will rub my arm and play with my hand..I've taken her shirt and bra off and given her a mage and messed with her ..we fight a lot but always make up and she gets very jealous when i chill with another girl....but she still says she doesn't like me...she's not like this with any other guy...now she has a bf (who she cheats on) but when we are all together and she's drinking she will stare at me and completely ignore him until he intervenes he's very ugly not even trying to be mean and kinda weird but treats her almost as well as I do so I don't really have a problem with him except he's pretty much an alcoholic...I've said somethings bout him that I shouldn't and she found out and wants nothing to do with me because I continuously talk bad bout him cuz I don't think hes good enough...she's giving my stuff back today....so I need to know does she like me and in denile? And will she come back and be my friend again and what can I do to fix it? Please help sorry its so long.